Jeremy attended a funeral yesterday.
It was the funeral of a friend’s mother. She was 50, had been a Rover in Brisbane, was a single parent, was the mother of a young transman. For Jeremy there were aspects of this funeral that hit very close to home.
When he arrived home last night he asked for cuddles. J isn’t the snugglebug that his older brother is but he is never denied a hug ever. He started by telling me that he didn’t realise just how hard R’s life must have been, that his mother had nothing and that R and two of his brothers had to pay for the funeral. That in between his mother passing and the funeral yesterday R had not had a moment to sit and think about his loss.
“I said to him Mum, that he could come to us any time, that we love him and if he needs anything to let us know”.
“I’m sure that was a comfort to him kitten”
“I gave him $50 out of my savings to help, I wish I could do more, I wish I had known how hard it was for him”.
That $50 would have come from one of his money making schemes that he has tried while he continues to look for work. It represents hours of creativity or ingenuity. I know J would not have had a second thought about giving it to someone who he saw had a greater need. Money has been tight in our home with now three young men, two looking for work and experiencing difficulties connecting to Centrelink, needing food and heat and electricity and internet and that $50 takes him a little further away from his name change. I feel that sacrifice.
Jeremy also gave me an insight last night that all that I have worked for he has seen. It’s a message that has been lost a little lately between us.
I am terribly sad that a fellow mother has lost her life. J is right though, R is always welcome here.